This Rule is Golden

 In Matthew 7:12 NLT, Jesus tells us, "Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets."

image courtesy of Randalyn Hill via Unsplash

My goodness, how often does the world turn the Golden Rule around? Jesus meant it for us to be kind and merciful. Many in the world use it to get even, to seek vindication for a wrong done to them - or what they think has been done to them, which is NOT at all what Jesus said in this verse. Yet, how many times do we hear, "Well, they did this to me. I'm going to do the same to them." Or, "That person was mean to me; I'm going to teach that person a lesson they will never forget." Or, "I never get a break. Why should I give anyone else a break?"

Jesus said to treat people the way we want to be treated. That means to be cordial in all encounters. Show mercy to those who aren't showing us mercy. Let's be nice to people who aren't being nice to us. Smile at the grumpy person you pass at Target. However, there may be people we should avoid, who never take the Golden Rule into account any day of their lives.

For example, I once thought I should help a grouchy cashier that used to work at our grocery store. No one seemed to liker her because she wasn't very nice, and others made fun of her because she couldn't speak very well. I felt that even though she was very hateful and belittling, I was sorry for her and wanted to continue giving her a chance to learn about the Golden Rule by my practicing mercy and kindness toward her not-very-nice actions. And that perhaps she could be happy if she could learn the Golden Rule. I felt that someone had not treated her nicely at some point in her life, so that was maybe why she was not nice to most people.  It's possible she was angry because she had lost her youth. Or perhaps she had quite a bit of pain because of her age and would rather not be working. Or maybe she was simply born a narcissist, which I've been studying a lot about lately. I don't know. I just knew I wanted to heal her by being kind to her.

Here's a brief history of that year-long journey. This cashier was older, so I once put some heavy items on the conveyor belt for her, (which I also did for other older cashiers who were thankful). She screamed at me, saying that she could do it. So, I didn't do that anymore. She asked me a question once, and because she had a speech impediment, I couldn't understand her, so I simply asked as politely as possible, "Pardon me?" And she jumped down my throat, repeating what she had asked (I think), and it was more difficult to understand her angry tone than when she asked in her normal, hateful tone. In my predicament and fear of angering her more, I said, "Yes," praying that was the right answer. Whew! A screen came up asking how much I wanted to donate to a charity. I selected my donation amount and was able to pay and go on my merry way. I would tell her, "Good morning," and she would just give me the evil eye. If I said nothing, she would give me dirty looks.

Nothing pleased this woman. So, I eventually stopped going through her lane. As much as she despised me, I had enough empathy for her to keep my distance. If I had to stand in line 15 minutes longer in a different lane, I would do it to avoid having to go through her lane. And apparently others felt the same way, because her lane was empty most of the time. Several customers, including myself, would decline to go through her lane when the front end manager would tell us her lane was open. 

So, my point about the Golden Rule is, sometimes, people are simply having a bad day. And if we show them some mercy with a smile or kind word, their day may get better. And the lives of those who encounter that person after we show them that mercy may be positively impacted. And likely, our next encounter with that person will be more pleasant as well. 

Sometimes, though, others won't accept kindness after many repeated attempts. When we encounter the unaccepting ones, we should probably stay away from them, because we may lose our patience with them and forget about the Golden Rule ourselves. I learned this with the cashier and another toxic person who was in my life for many years. And I've found out from Kris Reece that avoiding these toxic, narcissistic people when possible is okay in God's eyes. I did try, often, to show the cashier kindness and compassion, but time after time, she refused to accept it. So, no contact was the only act of kindness I was able to offer her when I realized kindness from others irritated her more than helped her. This wasn't an act of retaliation; it was simply the most merciful response I was able to finally settle on for her. She hasn't worked at the grocery store for a few years now, so I don't know if she's still alive. But if she is, I pray she has found the happiness that I was hoping to help her find. In those times of being alone is when we are able to better hear God.

Blessings in Christ,

Patricia